Thursday, November 12, 2009

Oh Break My Heart

It's a sad, sad night......

Tonight my story will probably make anyone reading this think I am a terrible terrible mother :(
Let me rewind first, back in time.....
A few years ago, Clara asked me if the Easter Bunny was real. Not really thinking, I told her no. At the time, both her and Emma believed. They were sad, and couldn't believe the news. I asked them if they really thought a 6ft tall, live bunny bought gifts, hopped into our home, and filled their baskets. They sat with a glazed look, and admitted, "we just never thought about it like that."
Well DUH - of course they didn't - they were little kids!
After a few sniffles, Clara said "I wasn't ready for you to tell me that."
Well break my heart, why doncha.
I felt bad, but it didn't seem like that  big of a deal - we'd never made much of the Easter bunny, since it really has nothing to do with Easter.

It should have been a lesson learned, RIGHT? RIGHT???

Tonight, Emma lost a tooth. Of course being 11, she long since stopped believing in the tooth fairy. When Clara, (who is only 9) saw the tooth, she said "Momma, is the Tooth Fairy REAL?"

Now this was the point at which I should have paused, and remembered the Easter Bunny incident.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda.....

I am dumb. And forgetful. And stupid.
Because I looked right at her, and said "NO HONEY, SHE ISN'T REAL."

She stared at me, waiting for me to say "tricked ya!"
Then she put her book in front of her face, and cried.
I just about cried with her.
But honestly - I thought she WANTED to know. Yeah I know - stupid me.
As I tucked her into bed, she sadly whispered, "It was a fun thing to believe in...."

Hearing her sobbing after I left the room just about broke my heart.
And that's all I have to say about that.
Let me know when my Mother-of-the-Year Award is ready.


Stefani said...

Don't beat yourself up Kristin. We all make mistakes. I made the mistake of telling Syd that her Nana was coming for Thanksgiving. It turns out that due to circumstances beyond our control, she will not be coming. I felt the need to tell Syd Tuesday night. She cried herself to sleep. This morning, she said "there's something that Mommy said to me that I can't get out of my head." Innocently, I said "What's that?" To which she replied "You said Nana can't come for Thanksgiving. I want to cry just thinking about it." Lesson learned: Don't tell her stuff until there is no chance things will change.

I've also learned to just say "what do you think?" when asked about Santa, Easter Bunny, etc. (a wise friend told me this) It really lets them decide when they're ready to accept the truth.

You're a great mom and don't let anyone tell you different! ((hugs!))

Janel@Dandelion Dayz said...

Go easy on yourself, girl. It's hard to keep these things up with our kids. It takes a lot of work!

B asked about Santa the other day and I asked her back, " Do you really want to know this?"

She told me she would get back to me and I haven't heard from her yet!

As long as there is love and hope in the world there is Santa - we have to believe!

You are an awesome mom! Love you.