Boy Stuff

Boys still confuse me.
Is that normal, since I've been married for 14 years? And I have a son?
It's the little guy. This boy thing thing just baffles me sometimes.

Why does everything in his life have to do with farts? Or butts? Or poo? Or pee?

Why has he created his own super hero named.... brace yourselves...... Butthole Man???? (yes, I so badly wish I was kidding about that one, but alas - I am NOT kidding. How embarassing...)

He tries to chainsaw and drill the dog. When he runs around naked (still potty training) he threatens poor Chester with "I'm gunna PEE on you!!!"

I have to constantly tell him, as he runs around naked, to keep his hands away from his bottom. I guess I've cemented in the fact that his bottom has germs. So now he uses that knowledge as a weapon, of sorts. He's figured out how to swipe his bottom, and chase his sisters with his finger pointing out at them, yelling "Butt Finger!!!"

He had a meltdown at church this weekend, because he wanted to take his gun out of the diaper bag. (WHY was that thing in there in the first place??)

He thinks he's going to live in the Bat Cave when he grows up. He tells me that I can live there with him. But he says I will NOT fit on the motorcycle with him. Aww, MAN!

AND, he melts my heart. He squeezes my neck with all his might, and tells me he loves me so big. I tell him to pucker up, and he gives huge kisses. He wants me to rock him before bed, and he strokes my hair as we snuggle. I asked him the other day how much he loves me. He said "Two." Huh? Then I realized that when I say "I love you, too" he's thought I was saying "Two." But last night, he said he loves me "three." I guess his little heart is loving me even more.

Right now, I just overheard him proclaiming: "I'm goin' commando, baby!" (Oh be still, my heart....)

Any insight into BOYS???