After 4 days of mama worrying, Emma came home today.
We dropped her off at Wake Forest University Monday for her first ever sleep-over camp. It was 101 degrees. Enough said??
I left my baby to put herself to bed at night in a dorm room. Yeah, that was a little scary to me. I worried for 4 days. That she would be scared, or need me. That she would get lost. Or sick, or hurt. Or be too hot and pass out from dehydration and heat exhaustion, and no one would find her. (yes, I have an active imagination.) I worried about whether she would take showers, or eat enough at meals. Would she put her sunscreen on? It's July in NC!
She's been my little girl for 10 years now. And it was hard to know that she was out there, without me being there to mommy her. HOW COULD SHE MAKE IT WITHOUT ME???
I used to think of myself as so capable of things when I was a kid. Of course it never occurred to me that any of my new-found and progressive independence ever worried my parents. I never stopped to think, as I grew up, that it might be hard for my parents to let go.
And now here I am, after 10 years of mommy-ing (is that a word?), realizing that I've got some letting go to do.
Emma had a blast. She came home with that camp-experience high, and wished that it went longer. She has no sunburn. She didn't drown in the pool. She ate, and slept, and bathed. She laughed, and made friends, and gained confidence in herself.
I was so happy for her. I know she'll remember it for the rest of her life.
And I'm so happy for me, too. Cuz I can sleep tonight without worrying! :-)